How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Paperback – November 6, 2018

If you follow Lane Moore on social media, you've no doubt seen the smiling, playful, and hilarious side of her huge personality. The joy she exudes is infectious. When I first began following her on Twitter, her feed quickly became one of my favorites.When you read Moore's memoir, HOW TO BE ALONE, it becomes clear that her sunny disposition is genuine, but also earned. She has fought her share of life's battles to get where she is. Growing up with parents who weren't around, Lane learned to take care of herself as best as she could, helped along by her creativity and wondrous imagination. She recounts talking to her soulmate as a means of self-care — envisioning that there was a person out there who would care for her and love her unconditionally was a way to comfort and check in with herself.The life she's led since then has been exceptional. Moore has been through difficult situations and dark times, but she writes about it with a level of emotional introspection likely not achieved by many trained therapists. She talks about everything from attachment theory to the unspoken effect privilege has on the world of artists, writers, and content creators. Her insights into love and relationships with have you nodding your head while audibly agreeing. All of it is written while analyzing the happenings of her own life in a revealing style that is often hilarious, often raw and emotional, and always resonant.You will find something meaningful in this book if:—You've been alone for long stretches of time—You've struggled with depression and anxiety—You've given yourself to others but wondered why they didn't reciprocate—Or just if you're a human being with emotionsIf you're like me—a hopeless romantic who spent a lot of time growing up curious if my soulmate was out there while also getting impatient wondering when our sweeping epic of a love story would begin—you will connect to Lane's words and feel seen.Moore writes, "One of the perks of being alone this long, I guess, is I never want anyone to feel as awful as I have, even for a second."Her writing has the power to do that. It makes you feel less alone and less awful, which is truly a gift.

A little context for my review of “How to Be Alone: If you want to and even if you don’t” by Lane Moore. I make it a point to seek out young writers who are off the beaten path. I became aware of Moore’s book from a write up in Bitch Magazine, which is a publication that bills itself as a feminist response to pop culture.I was intrigued by the cover, which shows the trappings of her mind visually. The book did not disappoint, as Moore shared intimately and with astounding tenderness of what it was like to grow up parentless, made worse by the fact she did have parents but they were unable to deliver what all children require.Before I share my impressions, I want to suggest to the (very few) reviewers who wrote that this book disappointed them because it does not provide “wisdom.” I would respond, yes, that is the point. Moore is in the midst of her growth and development, a story in progress, not a self-help book tied up in a bow. Lots of those available. This one is raw.The cultural conversation these days often focuses on the concept of “privilege.” Who has it and who does not? Those without privilege are rightfully sick of those with it denying the step up they have in life. Mainly the conversation revolves around gender, race, and class. But just has insidious and perhaps, more profound in terms of immediate life challenges, is the privilege of having a family who cares about you. Michele Obama talks about her family in her recent memoir. A lower middle class family, an ill father, living in a two-story home with other family members in the south side of Chicago. Some would describe this situation as impoverished. But despite the modest circumstances, Mrs. Obama shares the deep love and support she felt and that gave her the foundation to build to a great life. She truly had a safety net no government can provide.Moore grew up without a safety net. She compelling shares the implications of that dire situation. I am surprised she did not try to commit suicide or was killed, as her lack of self-care and boundary setting put in her many perilous situations. I am not going to give away more of her story. Read about her journey. Even if you had, especially if you had, a loving supportive family, this book will give you a special understanding of your privilege and perhaps a deeper understanding of others who don’t. Bravo to Lane Moore. Keep doing what you are doing and know there are those who get it and support you. Thank you for being brave and kind and passionate.Final note on style. I am old school and like my literature tightly edited. So I was at first put off my Moore’s use of CAPITAL letters and heavy use of exclamation points!!!. But once I got into the flow of the book, I realized this was her speaking style and carried a lot of emotion. It worked.

I pre-ordered this book not knowing exactly what it would be about. In it I found a friend. Lane Moore's sense of humor, complete honesty (for better or worse), and ability to shine a mirror into her own brain (and apparently mine) to write exactly what so many are thinking astounded me. It was brilliantly written. She is so funny I was laughing out loud (which is rare for a book) while highlighting parts to read over again. I continuously shared pieces of it on Instagram as I was reading because it hit so close to my heart. THIS THIS THIS is basically all I could manage to exclaim at the time. I finished this week's ago and still feel I don't have the right words to write s fully accurate review to explain how this book made me feel. It is about Lane Moore's life, and though we have certain ways we grew up very differently, there are many that line up so much that I finally felt understood. Her ability to look back and both cry and laugh and certain situations had me doing the same for myself. And she is so relatable. I honestly have not enough and too many words all at once to describe how much I loved this book and how much you will too. So I insist you stop reading this immediately and go get her book and read that at once! I plan to download the audio book as she reads it herself and I hear she SINGS 😍😍 I know this is one of those books that will become tattered and worn and I will re-read over and over and highlight even more sections, probably ending up with the entire book one big underline. This book was a gift to myself in more ways than one. Thank you so much for writing this Lane Moore! And for your amazing self, as I now am an Instagram follower who loves watching all your posts and stories and feels like such a geeky fan. I only wish I lived close enough to come see your Tinder Live! Thank you, thank you, thank you!