Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age Paperback – October 4, 2016

When I walk around campus these days, I see a sea of students glued to their phones. People walk to class swiping away or with headphones in, barely making eye contact with another. In the dining hall students wait in line surrounded by other students, but the focus on their phone makes it seem as if they have forgotten anyone else was even there. As I walk into class, I feel the silence of the room as students sit in their chairs, catching up on social media rather than getting to know each other.Though my experience may differ from yours, it’s caused me to ask lots of questions lately about the role of technology in our day to day lives and its impact on our social connections. If you care about this topic at all, READ THIS BOOK!It is hard to know where to begin with the amount of research, practical wisdom, and challenging questions this book contains. Turkle’s primary assessment could be boiled down to this: technology, despite all its positives, is radically degrading conversation and face to face connection; face to face connection and conversation is still vital for the development of empathy, fulfillment, and relational satisfaction; we need to keep thinking about how we balance technology in our own lives so we can reclaim conversation.For me, I resonate with this assessment as it rings true not only to what I’ve observed in my work with college students, but also in reflecting on my own relationship with technology and its impact on close relationships. One particular excerpt from Turkle’s book floored me: researchers have found a 40% drop in empathy in college students over the last two decades. Let me repeat, a 40% DROP IN EMPATHY! Why? Because you can’t develop empathy over text in the same way you can as sitting across from someone, seeing the pain and hurt you’ve caused them in their eyes, and bearing the discomfort that often is associated with these face to face conversations. So what do we do? We text about it, email, or post on social media, rather than talking face to face or even making a phone call.I could go on and on, but there truly is too much in this book to even scratch the surface. Here’s a few other highlights for those with potential interest:* Solitude is tougher and tougher to come by, but critical in our own development and our ability to show up for others. At least for me, I know technology has made solitude more challenging.* People hate boredom, and therefore they tap out of conversations too quickly. Some of the richest conversations are on the other end of boredom, and no meaningful relationship can totally avoid what Turkle calls “the boring bits”* Technology is seductive, and it is not our failure of will power. We have to acknowledge that technology has much more power than we sometimes admit, and create structures to mitigate its ever-present influence* Technology, though it has positives, will never replace face to face conversationI’ll admit my review is passionate, and that I may come off as a doomsday-er. And before closing, I’ll readily acknowledge (and Turkle does too) that technology has had many, many positive impacts. One in particular is the incredible communities that have emerged online to give voice and community to those previously on the margins, many of whom identify in ways that have created experiences of marginalization and bullying. But we can acknowledge these positives things while also admitting that technology is extremely seductive, and it is not without consequences. Read this book, and if you hate it, leave some comments and let’s dialogue about it. I think it is important, even given the irony of online dialogue about a book that so passionately advocates for more face to face conversation ;)

As a society we have lost the ability to have an undistracted conversation, or conversation at all. Turkle carefully documents her research, providing evidence to what I see in my own life, and the lives of students and young adults in the youth and college/career ministry in which I serve. We are owned by our devices, responding to their calls like Pavlov's dogs at dinner time. The stakes are high for every segment of society. In the church, it will affect how we teach and train younger Christians. In business it affects our meetings and conversations. In medicine, how newer doctors think and treat. The good news is that there is hope and we can learn to think again, and converse again. This is a very thought provoking book with concrete action steps; steps which I have started applying in my own life. Additionally, it is a very enjoyable read and flows well. I plan on reading her earlier book, Alone Together.

Communication isn’t what it used to be. With the advent of technology, social media, and the like, many people turn to electronics for most of their communication needs and as a result, good old- fashioned conversation has gone by the wayside. This can have lasting, negative consequences and Reclaiming Conversation was written to address this trend and emphasize a return to face- to- face talk as the best means to communicate.Text messages, email, and social media are in widespread use and this book is correct in its assessments that these means of communication, however useful and convenient they may be, are being overdone in the modern world. I can see this around me every day, both at work and at home. Talking one- on- one is increasingly viewed as a chore and most people would rather just type a message on a screen and hit send. The book talks at length about why this is not good for society in general. It leads to shallow, and often misunderstood communication plus it leads to loss of empathy, since most of us cannot fully understand the human emotions behind each statement. Using various forms of punctuation in our electronic communications can help, but it still isn’t as good as a face to face talk.People often keep their cell phones out in the open, where everyone can see them and are quick to check them with every passing beep. In some instances, this has completely replaced ordinary conversations, with some individuals actually having back and forth talks with people, via text or email, that go on for hundreds of messages. Families have, in some cases, even resorted to using communication apps as a replacement for family discussions. I agree with the book’s stand that these forms of electronic communications were never intended to be taken this far. The effects of such an overreliance on electronic communications can be felt at home, at work, at school, and in many other places and the results are negative overall. Some members of the younger generation in particular do not even know how to converse in the usual manner. They have lost this skill, if they ever had it at all.One good thing about this book is that, while it certainly encourages everyone to put down their cell phones and talk directly to people, it doesn’t go to extremes. Technology has definitely made life better and the book is in no way suggesting that we give up our cell phones, social media accounts, and tablets completely. What the book is suggesting is that we learn to better manage these various means of electronic communication. A quick message via text is fine. What isn’t good is carrying on a regular conversation via text when it would be much better, and more effective, to talk to a person directly.This book attempts to cover several of the areas where electronic communication has been taken to excess, including areas I would not have thought about previously, like online dating, online classes, and surveillance of online activity. I agree with the book’s overall message, but much of it is repetitive and I feel like the book could have been cut down by about 100 pages without losing its focus. It gets to be too much and, as I read, I noticed the exact same themes coming up again and again.Conversations are not what they used to be. Many individuals have taken the use of electronics to extremes and they send messages via text, email, and social media more often than they speak face to face. This is a trend that I hope we, as a society, can get under control and Reclaiming Conversation is a good tool for learning more about the problems of excessive electronic communication and its long- term effects. I could do with a little less repetition, but this book is an important one and its core message is one from which we could all benefit.

What an insightful and fabulously written book. Definitely important information for our time. We have become so distracted by technology that we have forgotten how to talk to each other. We have come to accept connection in any form with actual conversation and true connection. Dr. Turkle has the genius to see what this world needs to get back on track.