Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations

Surprised at the depth and wisdom in this book, teaching you about dealing with difficult people in all sorts of situations, but in a way that’s applicable to sales.

Fantastic. The author is a great speaker and knows what he’s talking about. The material is usable is a variety of places. I use it for work in many facets.

I found this a surprisingly difficult book to read.I don't mean it's badly written, quite the opposite, or that it's too technical. In fact, it's full of practical advice, it's very well organized, and it's immediately useful. However Ury's advice also goes against our gut feeling.The author outlines five steps to negotiating in a difficult situation to break through an impasse.1. Go to the balcony.2. Step to the other side.3. Reframe.4. Build a golden bridge.5. Use power to educate.These five headings summarize themes for each main section. Stepping to the other side means putting yourself in the other person's place in order to see from their point of view how they could accept a solution. Reframing means restating the issues in a way that makes agreement easier. Building a golden bridge means, among other things, offering concessions that cost you little but gives the other side a lot. It also means pointing out to the other party the advantages to them of reaching an agreement. Using power to educate means, as a last resort, to use your own best alternative to a negotiated agreement (your BATNA) to point the cost of failing to agree.But before all that, when negotiations get difficult, one should go to the balcony. This means taking a break and not reacting in anger. When confronted or insulted in the midst of talks, it's quite natural to react in anger. Ury quotes Ambrose Bierce: "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." In other words reacting feels good but doesn't get you what you want.Every page gives similar principles and illustrates them with pertinent examples; so much so that I couldn't read through this book quickly as I had to stop and think all the time. And that's why I found the book a difficult read.A little humbling and very useful.Vincent Poirier, Tokyo

Getting past no by William Ury is a nice addition to the basic concepts which were laid out in "Getting to yes". Basically, the content of both books is very similar, Getting to Yes provides the basis and Getting past No provides concrete advise for negotiating and elaborates on the things discussed in Getting to Yes. That said, Getting Past No can be read independently from Getting to Yes.The book describes five steps of "Break Through Negotiation". These steps are hard since they often reflect doing the opposite of what your natural reaction might be in the particular situation.These five steps are:- Don't react. Don't react when being attacked, but step back.- Don't argue. Instead try to agree with them and understand their position.- Don't reject. Don't reject their position, instead try to reframe their position to understand their underlying interests.- Don't push your ideas or proposal. Try to work together with them to make a proposal together which is best for both interests.- Don't escalate. When the above fails, don't escalate the situation and instead think about your alternative and try to describe the situation as it just happened.The book is very readable and has lots of good and useful examples. It's thin and easy to read in a relative short time. It doesn't contain THAT much information though, for more negotiation techniques check their "Getting to Yes".Recommended to read after Getting to Yes.

In his superb book, William Ury builds on the pricipals first put forth in his first book with Roger Fisher, "Getting To Yes." In "Getting Past No" Ury discusses the nuances and niceties of negotiating using a joint problem solving approach which is "interest based" rather than being "rights based" or "power based." Ury explains that the challenge is to convert a confrontational situation to a cooperative creative problem solving process, that integrates the parties in a negotiation into a cooperative mode, that results in the best long term agreements.The specific wonder of this book, is its focus on what to do, when you don't know how to get past a problem. Ury calls his method the "Breakthrough Strategy" and is virtually totally as applicable for mediators as it is for negotiators. In fact, several times, Ury mentions that a mediator may assist the process.Simply put, Ury contends that there are basically 5 things that one needs to do to preserve smooth negotiations and to break through an impasse if it occurs. He calls these 'steps' by the following designations: "Go To The Balcony", "Step To Their Side", "Reframe", "Build Them A Golden Bridge" and "Use Power To Educate." These simple concepts are extremely useful tools for negotiators and mediators alike.There is no disappointment in this book. The approach and the writing style are just superb. Once again, the Harvard Group, especially William Ury, have produced a book that anyone can gain from and is almost a must for those in dispute resolution and negotiation on a day to day basis.

I purchased as a gift, it came very fast. I can not comment if it is a good book but it is what he wanted.

El libro cuenta con consejos y recomendaciones a tomar para negociaciones reales, donde la contraparte no está dispuesta a ceder o a negociar de buena fe.

The book has arrived in perfect condition.I am yet to start reading it though, but i am eager to learn and imbibe the lessons taught in this book.

Useful and succinct.

Good high level negotiations strategies but just a couple of practical examples makes the book not so interesting.

Le bouquin est un succès auprès de mes proches aussi. Il est très complet avec des vraies clés de négociation.