Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Kerner)

Great content. Very clever writing style. Practical. Informative. Excellent for men or women. Loved it!

This book does everything and more. I have used this book to get closer to my boyfriend and he has opened up quite a bit, which was my objective. We always had good sex, but now he is more verbal about telling me how satisfied he is. I read the entire book starting at the beginning and then took bits of information and used them when we were together, having to return to the book to hone my skills, as it takes a little time to get everything right, but it's been amazing. I did not tell my boyfriend about the book, as I think he would have felt like I was mechanical in some way, which you did need to pay attention to, because in the beginning I think I was a bit mechanical and as I went back to the book, I became more natural and my boyfriend more satisfied. This is an excellent reference and will keep things fresh. I highly recommend it.

Very good read. Very insightful and just overall good information.

Since a while now I was looking for a book like this: a step by step guide through sex that also includes how to make sex better for men. Reading this book I realized that I had a very simplified idea of what men want regarding pleasure. Thank you so much for the explicit and exact description. I already tested the new knowledge and it worked really well.

I loved She Comes First so I thought I'd pick up Kerner's book that is actually geared for me. Overall I liked it, there is some good information, but it's lacking in other areas. I'm a young woman who struggles a bit with sex in her relationship, and while She Comes First hit the nail on the head in terms of female desire, I feel like Passionista didn't go quite as far in helping me understand my male partner. It focuses quite a bit on how male insecurity/performance pressure causes men to sabotage themselves sexually, and how creating a great sexual experience for your male partner is largely about banishing those thoughts so he can have a great time. This is great info to consider! The techniques part of the book I thought was lacking. The book starts out telling you, and continues to tell you how it's GOING to tell you how to inject some excitement into your sex life to keep you both interested. This consists of many pages of anecdotes that left me pretty cold. Most of them were very very typical "sext him at work" "quickie on vacation" type things that might provide inspiration for some, but for someone who has struggled in her relationship with sex for years, it's just trite and a bit patronizing. As is the whole "be a passionista thing." Give me a break. She comes first definitely made use of the "bro tone" to convince straight men that their dicks weren't the center of the universe, so I can understand why Kerner would try to create some kind of sexy woman archetype to relate to women. But it's pretty weird. A specific example to sort of illustrate why I gave 3/5 would be the bit on pelvic massage. The early sections of the book read like a sales pitch for the book-which I've already bought. They mention pelvic massage techniques to help him loosen up, relax, get aroused, and possibly make his apparent size a bit longer without all that tension in his pelvis. Awesome! Something I hadn't seen much about before!! It gets hinted at several times before it is actually discussed. That discussion consists of a quick description of basic massage strokes, not at all instruction on where/how/which muscles to apply them to. That's great if "massage your partner" is still kinky and exciting to you, but I would think if you're reading sex self-help books you need more info than that...especially after you've been teased with the idea of specific applicable pelvic techniques. In a nutshell, just as She Comes First proved useful insight to the clueless male, this book might provide great insight to the female who has somehow forgotten that her male partner has insecurities. Clueless, ignorant, men and women probably make up most of us at some point , so Kerner's effort is appreciated... but if you are more advanced sexually it's nothing you haven't read before.

This is a shorter read than expected and not really the 'step by step' instruction guide that the companion book 'She Comes First' is which was mildly disappointing however the author is right in that men are simply easier to please physically and don't really need 'instructions' to 'get it right' the first time. However this was an excellent book and I would certainly recommend it to ladies everywhere who feel they might need some new ideas to spice up their love life or even some place to start from. This book is more about how to make your (the female) attitude compelling and desirable to your man and capture his attention in a healthy way for everyone to make it a more satisfying experience for you both. It's also about explaining and ultimately understanding what makes the male libido tick and how you can focus on his fantasies to get him pumped up. The suggestions in the book certainly work. :) I would give this 100% thumbs up.

This book was exactly what I expected based on the reviews I'd read -- a combination of male sexual psychology, ideas for creating and maintaining desire in your relationship, and physical techniques. It's very well written, the tone is friendly and humorous, and it's devoid of offensive slang terms for body parts that have offended reviewers of other sex books. I just finished it, found it all fascinating, and will probably start re-reading it tomorrow and taking notes! Best parts for me: (a) I realize now that my husband and I (who are in our early 40s) are very reserved and could be more creative *outside* the bedroom in terms of flirting, being provocative, etc. I wasn't always this way, and I need to get re-acquainted with my 19-year-old self! (b) I learned the bases for techniques I'd picked up in the past. It's amazing to me that though I've never had any complaints, there was so much I didn't truly understand and therefore wasn't doing optimally. In my experience, trying to get this information from one's partner directly is like pulling teeth; men don't seem to want to complain or explain, and women end up mired in the dark. This book at least pointed me to the light switch. Anyway, lots of things to try, physical and otherwise, and I can't wait. Hubby has a copy of She Comes First waiting on his nightstand as well. Thank you so much, Dr. Kerner.

I was very cautious when reading and thought that it was a homosexual situation, but was explained in very good way to understand. Thank you Ian for the info.

Great book, recommendable to any woman who wants to learn more about how to foster passion in a relationship. A must-read!

This book is not poor in and out. Interesting and useful for example is Kerner's advice, that a whole day, spent together leisurely and in positive excitement, can be regarded as a foreplay, or that one should not feel embarassed about ones sexual fantasies, because they are nothing more than a mean to turn oneself on. But it has one decisive handicap: When he writes, that the specific male sexual inhibition is caused by an ubiquitous male tendency to protect the "family jewels", from being "chipped off", Kerner starts from the wrong theoretical assumption, namely the good old Freudian castration complex (although not calling it by name). For example he claims that a naked man who searches his way through an unknown, dark, densely furnished room, always protects his genitals with one hand. Personally I can not confirm this. Women never missed the opportunity to tell me how typical male I am, but obviously not in this respect: I prefer to have both hands free in case I stumble upon something. This outdated theoretical starting point makes the book all in all contradictory and confused. For example Kerner can not solve the paradox why men on one hand are said to be anxious about the safety of their private parts and on the other hand, beginning with masturbation in puberty, are said to be exclusively fixated on their penis if they want to experience sexual pleasure. At the end of Kerners book it even turns out that it is much more difficult for the ambitious female lover to trick her partner into anal stimulation of his "male G-Spot", which only marginally belongs to the traditional "family jewels", than to get his allowance for various experiments with his most precious piece. In a subtle way, hidden behind a "how to spice your sex-life"-tone, Kerner suggests the female reader that male sexuality per se is defect, and that she has to act like a professional therapist, or worse, like a skilled machinist, to improve things. In the last chapters, Kerner's advices are reading like directions for handling optimally a complicated machine, sometimes even unconsciously comical, neglecting the real male problem, namely to overcome the inclination to treat the own body like a machine. Replacing the increasingly successful female struggle with the delicateness of the own sexual response by the demand also to provide her partner with an "earth shattering orgasm" predetermines another loss of unembarassement on both sides. For a woman who just wants to be informed about male sexuality and, concerning technical details, wants to rely on her own fantasy, intuition and authentic tenderness, the "Hite Report" about this topic is in my opinion the still unequaled classic.

This has been a very inspirational book for me. Always a little shy when it comes to matter male this helped me answer some questions I'm too shy to ask - and at 51 it's about time I had some questions answered. My husband is a happy test subject! The book is written in a friendly easy way to read. If this is a subject you're interested in then read the book.

Fantastic book. Great information by someone who really knows what they are talking about in this world of uneducated fear.

book was returned