If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

What a great little book. It's a small book, at least the copy I have is, which is a used paperback from 1999. It has about 40 less pages than the description states but I actually find that to be the case with many books I get from Amazon. It's a nice size to hold in one hand and while it's a thin and easy read, there's actually a lot of great advice packed into this little book.One disclaimer, I never buy books on dating, this is the first one, so I can't compare it with any other dating books. I got it for two reasons: 1. Although I've practiced Buddhism for many years, I have recently devoted myself more than ever and want to make a conscious effort to keep my spiritual path in mind when meeting my future partner. 2. The other reason I got this book is because I have another book by the same author that I like a lot (If The Buddha Got Stuck) and so I knew exactly what style of book this would be - casual, down to earth advice from a generally but not exclusively Buddhist perspective. It's the type of book you can open to any chapter that sounds good in the Contents and read out of order; each short chapter is an individual little gem.The advice is sincere, touches on serious matters and yet remains lighthearted. It is definitely NOT a 'how-to' or instructional in any way. There's no advice in how to meet someone. It's more of a "where are you coming from?" theme, suggestions of things to reflect on before entering into a partnership with someone else. It helps you examine relationship mistakes from past relationships and offers simple checklists of traits you might look for in a new partner, commonalities, etc. It's exactly what I was looking for; helpful advice to contemplate now while I'm still happily single. I want to be in a healthier mindset so my future relationship will be complimentary to my spiritual path, and that's just what this book is about.There was one review I read that says this book isn't very Buddhist oriented, that there aren't many canonical references to Buddhist scripture, and complains that a bunch of other spiritual traditions are referenced. To me, this reviewer is "missing the forest through the trees" in a huge way! The book *completely* embodies Buddhism in my opinion, every single piece of advice is consistent with Buddhist teachings, I haven't found a single thing in the book that is "un-Buddhist" in any way! No, it is not full of a bunch of scripture references from Buddhist sutras, but that wouldn't fit with the casual lighthearted style of this book and I personally wouldn't want all those references in this particular type of book. Yes, there are references and tidbits from various other spiritual traditions, Sufism, etc., but when you spend time in Buddhist Sanghas or study groups, that's common practice; Buddhism welcomes and often references any other spiritual advice that's in alignment with Buddhist ethics. In any case, that reviewer is of course entitled to their opinion, but I hate to see people get the idea that this is not Buddhist oriented because it absolutely is. It's just not done in a very blatant, overly obvious manner. I think this is a good thing, so others who may be "spiritually-minded" but not specifically Buddhist can still fully enjoy this book. So keep in mind, it's not a book about Buddhism, no. But it's a book about dating from a Buddhist perspective.I really enjoyed this book and found the advice to be sound and smart. Like a good friend, or a counselor, offering excellent suggestions. I will return to this book again and again.

A couple of times a year, I read a book that's a little gem: packed with sage and sensitive wisdom, practical and informative, modern yet timeless. IF THE BUDDHA DATED is my latest addition to my list of these little paper gems. Kasl knows what she's talking about. Without dogma or fuzzy affirmations, she reminds us in clear language that our relationships are part of our spiritual journey. Her definition of a spiritual journey in the path we take to be who we truly are, without pretense or attempts to please lovers, family members, or other authority figures. We come to learn that we can love and be loved best by being who we truly are, showing our vulnerability and our humanity, while still expecting to be treated with consideration, compassion, and kindness.Early in the book, she states, "on the spiritual path, the purpose of any relationship is to wake up and get to know ourselves and our lover, thoroughly, without judgment or pride." And, "Dating with a Buddhist consciousness means a willingness to confront anything inside that kindles fear or anxiety. When we start wanting to run away, be deceptive, tell lies, or put on a mask, we need to walk right into our fears, sit down, and talk to them until they become our friends. That doesn't mean we have a goal of getting rid of fear; rather we accept it as part of our unfolding journey." I couldn't agree more.Her lists of behaviors for us to examine in our partners and ourselves are excellent and straightforward. A close examination of what we want and what we have to offer, our values and our desires, all play into what makes relationships work or not. She says, "True commitment is born of knowledge. We can't say yes to what we don't know."Her list of questions to explore with your partner before becoming sexual (page 126) are excellent. So much worthy of quoting that I suggest you simply BUY this book. A little jewel.~~Joan Mazza, author of Dream Back Your Life; Dreaming Your Real Self; Who's Crazy Anyway; and Exploring Your Sexual Self (a guided journal).

I have a copy and I bought one for my teenager.

If you're new on the market again after being gone for a decade, you'll be inundated with dating books and game books on how to find and "catch" your partner. While I'm sure many work, as many enjoy the chase and the game, I'm not sure that's a solid basis for a LTR. I bought this book at the suggestion of a trusted friend, and it was very helpful in toning me down. I'm very connected to my feelings which makes it difficult to date. And this book taught me how to be connected but not ride every feeling, how to be authentic, how to put myself out there completely without letting rejection destroy me. Overall, if you're looking for a wholesome approach to dating, love and even other relationships, this book is great. But it's not a book on trapping and chase. It's more book on being authentic, finding an authentic partner and what to do in those moments where panic sets in.

Prompt accurate

Great little book to which I often come back for life advice. The chapters are organised in a way that makes it easy for you to skip them and read some other chapter of interest. They're not connected as in fiction. Really good.

this is such a great book for anyone to read. I have lent it to so many friends and then they read it and write in the book and want to keep it and the they replace it with a new copy. If you are lost and looking for direction, it is a great guide on finding yourself, your boundaries and your self esteem.

Whilst technology has changed things a little since this book was written (what the hell is a voicemail?!) the principles of human relationships still stand. This book brings a good balance of spiritual and scientific insight to an area that is not often considered with much rationality. – Life changer.

This book is realistic, doesn't provide any quick fixes or solutions, but does offer you the tools to improve your outlook, and your mental health.Finding yourself, understanding your own needs, flaws, and the way you relate to other people is the foundation for understanding all your relationships. Kasl does a great job explaining how many of our own behaviours can be destructive and prevent us from finding someone special.I've had so many personal situations and crises diffused after I've read the book. Even if there might not be specific advice for my situation, the relaxing words have supported me so well over the years.Kasl covers all relationship types, including a chapter on same-sex couples. I can feel there is a effort to highlight what is universal in all relationships.There's coverage of online dating so even though this book is now 15 years old, it still feels fresh.

Mon livre de poche. Je l'ai en 3 exemplaires. Un dans ma voiture un dans ma chambre et une version électronique. Si, si, pour de vrai ce livre a changé ma vie.#truestory