Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship Paperback – November 3, 2003

This is the best relationship self help book I've ever seen. I buy it for most of my girls when they move outit's finally easier. I can come home walk into a messy place and NOT take it personal. It has nothing to do with me. I didn't know that until I read this book.This book teaches you how to communicate verbally those things you expect him/her to be able to 'just know'. No one can tell what's wrong with you by the look on your face, or your body language. In all reality how is anyone supposed to know what's burning inside your mind, when you stare madly at them across the room. You ignoring them, or play mind games and getting mad they don't 'know' what the deal is, does not make the situation better.It doesn't matter how long you date someone, they will never be able to KNOW every emotion lingering inside your body- unless you tell them. Just because you have to say it does not mean you're not meant for each other, or you are not soul mates. He just isn't a mind reader, and you shouldn't expect him to be.Everyone is raised differently. Things you grew up doing because that's what your parents taught you, is not the same for every family. Just because something pisses you off and you silently keep repeating it he's not going to ever pick up your wavelingths. He's not telapathic, if he was you wouldn't need this book.It will teach you to speak your mind in a productive way. It will teach you how to talk what you think he should already know.

I've read *MANY* self-help books over the years.This one is truly worth taking the time to read and apply.I discovered tools in this book that were not even touched on in over three years or marriage counseling.While the marriage ended for good reasons and even the tools in this book would not have saved it, many of issues I had to cope with could have been easier with the techniques presented here.I will say that regardless of how skilled you are at communication, there is always room for improvement. If you have a good relationship, you can make it greater.You may have a tendency to want to jump forward to the fixes and exercises portion at the end of the book, but I would recommend taking your time, there is a lot of valuable insight in the first sections, and they certainly enhance the exercises presented at the end.This book is on my gift giving list for everyone I love.When stuff bugs me, I tend to find more & more reasons to confirm my fears. The tools it shares help remind me to seek out instances and evidence contrary to my fears so I can see the issues from a more balanced perspective.

"What they can't ready our minds?", I'll say. Thank God for that most the time right. But (Always a But) God can read our minds and some of the toxic thoughts we have about our spouse need to change and this books helps you to understand why, how, and how much we tend to have toxic (bad thought) that changes our feeling toward our spouse. As I mention in another review, "The 5 Love Languages", I am divorce but had I had as much determination to save my marriage as I did to end it, we would have been celebrating our 20th anniversity this year. After reading this books and a few other, I would have had better knowlegde and understanding of what I was doing to my relationship not so much as to what he wasn't doing. One thing this book shows you is it's easier to give up then to learn to change. But learning to change our toxic thinking will be a life lesson that we can alway use, in all relationships (Spouse, Children, Parents, Co-Workers, and Friends); they all benefit, but no one more so then you.

If you have had doubts or conflicting thoughts about your relationship, take a deep breathe, order this book and read it. It will definitely change a lot of your thoughts to more real and concrete truths that will help you and your significant other reach the ultimate calm in relationships. You will change for the better, and even if your significant other reads it or not, they will also change due to you reading this book. Trust me, this author knows what he is talking about. I wouldn't order any other book but this one. It definitely changed my way of thinking and made me appreciate what i have, instead of what i want.

I'm enjoying this book so far, however, after reading about 10 pages, a page falls out!! Irritating to say the least. Binding problem I assume?? I'd return it but I want to read the book for the information and not wait on a return book. May I get a refund for the inconvenience of pages falling out as I read??

Reading this book helped me identify why my husband and I keep fighting, over what appears to be nothing. I like that the list of 9 toxic thoughts are near the beginning - it makes it fast to identify what behavior you or your partner do that leads to a particular argument or creates tension in the relationship. Has helpful examples and questions to ask yourself. I liked the friendly, non-condescending tone of the writing.

This book pretty much covers everything that we miss in our relationships. It was a very big eye opener for me and I learned so much about myself and where I missed so many things in my past relationships. I know that there are two sides to every story, but this book will make you take a hard look at yours. I highly recommended this book whether you're having issues in your relationship or not.

I was searching for a book after my boyfriend and I kept fighting and having the SAME fights over and over. After a divorce - I was also wondering if it was all me. This book certainly helped point out patterns in my own behavior/thought patterns that were clearly sinking my current relationship. What was interesting is that the thought patterns were totally different from my last relationship!Putting the book to work is taking some time and I am constantly reminding myself to banish the toxic thoughts! I've now given the book to my boyfriend to read... I know my communication skills are slowly improving.I think over time - it will certainly be fabulous!

Excelente libro para trabajar con los pensamientos tóxicos que perjudican las relaciónes como el yo siempre tu nunca, el si me Amara debería de saber o hacer ni solo ayuda a identificarlos sino a cambiarlos y alternativas para que cuando aparezcan esos pensamientos manejarlo de una manera positiva.

My wife gets mad at me for not reading her mind.

This is a lifechanging book that will improve all relationships in your life whether helping you to deal more effectively with a partner or your boss.It can be used as a reference book.

Great no-nonsense book, very clear and fun to read.

I thought this would be a better book. I certainly don't have troubles in my marriage that would cause us to be anywhere near divorce, which is who this book seems to be aimed at - those on the edge.I was looking for something to prevent the little squabbles and such that we have. "why do you leave the plate on the counter?" type of thing, not "why were you sleeping with your secretary?"If you are in a troubled marriage, perhaps this book will work for your -- but if, like me, you are just looking to improve what you've got, it's useless.