Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

I've been staring at the computer screen for about 10 minutes now, trying to start this review, and having no idea how to do so. I just can't make the words come out, and writing the review terrifies me, and makes me feel a little ill. You see, I didn't buy, or read this book because I know the author or her work. I did both because the content sounded interesting, and because I needed my next big review. Yes, I read this book so I could review it, which is where the ill part enters. I started working toward being an Amazon Top 1000 reviewer about a year ago. Not because I really cared about the rank...it was just a goal. Something intangible I could work toward. And I chose it, because sad though it is, my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads are the last place in this entire world where I am willing to communicate, in any capacity, with other human beings. They're all I have left.I live a sad life. I have no friends and I'm lonely... So lonely that as I type this I feel like crying, even though I accepted this as my reality a long time ago. I cancelled facebook two years ago. I lost my last real friend three years ago. I struggle to call and make appointments because it requires talking to strangers, and for this reason I also can't go to the grocery store, or the gas station, or any other list of a hundred places that normal people go to have normal lives.You see, I decided five years ago that I was done with fitting in, and that I'd rather be lonely and alone, than to continue immersing myself in a world I found caustic.Everywhere I looked people seemed to be shouting, trying to make their voices heard. The most recent clever story on facebook. The most wittily stated opinion. I didn't see kindness, I saw intolerance and rudeness. I saw people ripping each other down through the medium of social media because they didn't have to look that person in the face, and see how their comments hurt them. Then I watched as that attitude seemed to make people less tolerant in the real world as well. I wanted no part of it anymore. From that point on I was standing alone, and that was that. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as the years have passed, I've cut myself so far off from humanity that it feels like I'm the only person left in my world. It hurts, SO much, but I don't know how to undo it. I don't know how to go back.At least...I didn't. I know this review is already too long, and all I've done is clumsily muddle my way through it—attempting to express something I don't even know if others will understand. This is frustrating for me, because I don't want to talk about myself, and doing so is terrifying, particularly after so many years of silence. But I didn't know how else to express the impact this book had on me, without first talking about how much pain I've been in, and how nefarious my reasons for reading it in the first place. I got the "standing alone" part down pat. I did that years ago. The part I couldn't find, that maybe I'd never have found on my own, is the part where I know how to belong to something again. Join the world. Feel a connection to life and humanity.I cried just about the entire duration of this book. I got it because it sounded "interesting", but I feel like it opened up a hole in the side of my sad little world. I didn't think it would apply to me, but it's changed my life. I expected to write an honest, clinical review discussing its contents from a dispassionate point of view. But instead, here I am, still clumsily attempting to convey my feelings in the hopes that some part of this review might encourage even one other person to read this book.Everyone should read this book. Everyone who wants to stand alone, but still belong. Everyone who already is alone, and wants to be a part of something again. Everyone who is tired of a humanity that is separated. Give it a shot. If nothing else, get the sample chapters, and see if there's something in it that might speak to you.And if my review is clumsy, I sincerely apologize. Please don't let that turn you off from the book. It changed my life, and I think it can do as much for many.EDIT: It's been 6 months since I wrote this review, and when I said this book changed my life, it did. Oh, how it did! I got into therapy. I've made some friends who share my interests, and even many of my anxieties. I no longer feel lonely or threatened. If anyone out there struggles as I did, please know that help is available, and change is possible. All it takes is one moment that changes all other moments. For me, that was this book! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all of you who have supported me, and supported each other. Humanity is far more wonderful than I once believed!!!

Probably like many of you, I became acquainted with Ms. Brown through a Ted Talk. It wasn't long after when her name started popping up in some online forums I visit. The consensus was that her work on shame and vulnerability was validating and empowering. Currently struggling in my own wilderness, the reviews of this and other works of hers led me to believe I was in for something possibly life-changing, maybe just validating, but absolutely worth the read.I understand we all process pain and trauma differently, and that her experiences have been no less excruciating than my own due to the odd and flexible concept of relativity... but! it's just very hard to relate to someone who name drops Maya Angelou.Much of her book relates back to her career, support system, faith, and how it all synergistically worked out when she decided to stand up to life.Though off to a bit of a rocky start, she made it through higher education into a career. She relies on (and has in abundance) faith and a strong support network to keep her going. Her version of alone looks nothing like mine, whereas I find myself completely isolated in my old hometown, no relevant work history in a rural community devoid of opportunities, childless, faithless, without friends or family.The struggles are different, but the pain is the same. Maybe? I can't help but think if we were both out hiking in the wilderness and each fell into a ravine, she'd get rescued while I'd slowly die of sepsis after being punctured by a large, pointy, fallen branch. Cats, as it were, don't dial 911. Standing apart and being alone are two very different things.I hear what she's saying, I really do. That we have to be brave, that we cannot rely on others to provide belief in us when we do not have such confidence in ourselves. But the way she presents this is more of, "How to capitalize on past success and current fame," rather than, "How to reach out to those struggling, lost in the wilderness, and help them see their way safely through the dangerous terrain without being eaten by a bear (or the expectations of society.)"There were touching passages, but she lost me after she listed all the businesses she runs and owns and how haaaaard it all is.Yes, Ms. Brown, it's hard. It's all so very hard.

Where to start…I feel like, no I KNOW, this book was written for me. Published only yesterday I have just finished reading it and wow, it is so powerful and so tender. I am completely grateful for all of Professor Brene Brown’s words, they have guided me towards the beautiful life I have now which both excites and terrifies me, but this particular book spoke to my heart and so now I need to start reading it again to remove and treasure all the many gems of wisdom concealed within its pages. But what is it about? It’s about ‘true belonging’ and how to navigate through this messy, messy, divided world of sides and enemies and terrorism and hate by remaining passionately true to yourself and your beliefs and holding on to love and compassion and empathy; living a life that is true, brave, courageous and most importantly, yours. This is Brown’s definition of belonging, it is perfection:'True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.'

Simple and essential book in a era of struggle and lost connectivity

Absolutely utterly inspiring -- especially for me at this time when I feel that I do not belong on the project where I work yet I choose to stay and make the best of it. I think it's must-read for anyone who feels like a misfit. And you should read Brown's previous books to understand more about shame and how it can contribute to that feeling that, because the way I am, I am not worthy of belonging. Helped me so much! Thanks Brene Brown!

so the book isnt bad but isnt great either. she goes on to talk about how being alone is ok in society, and how were always apart off something regardless off what you believe, feel,love,like, activities. abit long winded in some places but to be honest, with society going the way its going, we are alone, nobody talks to neighbours, you dont see kids playing in the streets anymore, everyone is in there own bubble and out for them selves. the book goes on about mainly american based story's on her life experiences, name dropping celebs isnt the greatest way to go about trying to sell your book. her bubble dosent quiet fit in to society at a different level except her own middle to upperclass people. another wannabe person to kick and snigger at lesser people than herself in my opinion. quoting other peoples work is half the book..why? where is your own quotes and life philosophy? its mainly her point off view or someone elses, kind off waste off time but hey it paid the bills right?

This book has come at a time I needed to read it. Excellent, challenging, truthful.And now I will put some of it into practice by asking,, #Amazon, Goodreads, why must I add five more words when I am happy with my succinct review? Tell me more about why this is important to you. X