Family Trees & Olive Branches: Creating a Culture of Grace in Your Family

Amazing and eye opening. I’ll admit that I bought this book to see how to “deal with” difficult family members but I was totally flipped around in what I read. Humbling for sure. I recommend to every Christian.

This book is full of practical advice and real life stories from the trenches. It tackles tough conversations in realistic terms and has helped me navigate tricky relationship situations both with my family and with friends. I highly recommend this book!

On the surface, my family tree doesn’t remotely resemble a James Avery charm. It’s pruned by divorce with entire sections dead from frostbite. Hergenrader’s, Family Trees and Olive Branches might be the perfect gift – a sort of 'peace offering' this Christmas season?!The book showed me that pointing fingers and placing the blame on others for the family’s legacy is actually my fault. Instead, I can act as a fertilizer for my family’s growth by spreading grace and forgiveness on the soil of our everyday lives. This book is riddled with illustrative tree analogies, which show of the author’s God given talents. But my favorites are the river references taken from section 6: “Indulging a person with poor boundaries isn’t an honest relationship. You are an active part of letting them wash over a place where there should be a natural turn in their tide. …don’t be afraid to be the natural boundary in someone else’s life. Trust that God will provide what your family member needs on the deepest levels. You can love and pray for her, but if what she’s asking you to take on is within her circle of responsibility… When you redefine your boundaries, you help to create a culture of grace in your family. When each person is responsible for his or her own choices, the family can all function as individuals. This naturally helps to remove the hurt feelings and resentments that come with poor boundaries.”Epiphany! In my case, I’ve been trying to showcase my family like it’s in a Fifth Avenue window display; instead of accepting it for the Charlie Brown tree that it is. I’ve been trying to ‘shine up’ it’s individuals by “helping them”. My “help” shortchanges God. This book reminds me to ‘leave room for God’, and extend my family the same grace and forgiveness He has given me through the cross. My connection to God will give me strength to trust Him to divinely nurture my family tree as He sees fit.

Review by Adriana GranholdChristina Hergenrader does a great job guiding her readers to see that though you may struggle through family issues, God’s grace and mercy are so much bigger that there is hope amidst the struggle. Only He can see us through those issues as long as we are faithful servants and have a continuing relationship through communion and prayer. Family Trees and Olive Branches, helps the reader understand that we can forgive those who need forgiveness, mend relationships that have been broken, and raise healthy families, with God’s guidance, love, and grace. I myself, having been raised in a Christian home, having had a grandfather who was a Baptist Pastor, missionary family members, and ordained deacons, saw how we had so many struggles as a family unit. Some of these struggles seemed so normal that it wasn’t until I read through Family Trees and Olive Branches that I saw things in a different light. This book made me laugh and cry. It made me joyful and hopeful. I loved how Christina applied bible verses to give supporting argument to the points she makes. The reflection piece throughout the book is perfect as one thinks and quietly waits for God’s voice through the Holy Spirit within us, to shine the light of truth into what one just read and make those personal connections. The real-life situations and stories that are shared throughout the book are also a very welcomed piece as it makes it easier to paint a personal picture of situations that the reader may also be experiencing, or thinking like - “Thank God that has never been an issue.” I could go on and on…All I know is that this is not only a must read, but a must read and apply book. May God, through the Holy Spirit, bless and guide everyone who reads and applies this book to their life. May everyone learn to forgive themselves and family members. May everyone learn to live a life of grace and forgiveness. This book will help you prune your branches and help you grow healthy leaves. May everyone be filled with hope, peace and encouragement as they read Family Trees and Olive Branches.

Although I grew up without siblings (only child), or cousins (mother was also an only child) or grandparents (all were deceased by the time I was born), I could identify with the people in every chapter of this book. Christina’s writing is like a breath of fresh air. She is able to articulate the great miracle of family, while still acknowledging how broken, sinful and complicated families can be. She writes with humor and love when talking about her own family tree, and her caring heart shines through as she shares the stories of other families. The opportunity to stop and reflect on what you are reading, and actually write in the book about your feelings, adds another dimension that makes the writing even more compelling.I can easily see where this book would offer an opportunity for families to understand one another better, especially as family members marry and have children. Talking about many of these topics with input from three (or more) generations would be enlightening to say the least. It has certainly helped me to appreciate the gifts within my own extended family and for that I am so grateful.