The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant

I found this book recommended on the internet. In fact, it's highly praised as being one of the foremost respected books on the topic. I have found a lot of it, especially from the perspective of Mr. Warren, to be insecure, bitter, and resentful. I found myself frustrated as I read about all of the shots taken at people who disagree with him. It adds a certain overall feeling of negativity to the book as a whole that feels unnecessary to me. It's not that I disagree that the people judged are wrong, but it seems like such a waste of space for hatred and the "these people suck" rather than getting to the meat and potatoes of why I bought it!There is an entire chapter dedicated toward the disdain for people who ask why, and tearing apart scientists/philosophers for their completely absurd theories on it. What kind of human doesn't ask why? Do normal people not question anything in life even if they do like it lol? Couldn't this chapter have been better dedicated to actually sharing their opinion on the why? Or perhaps a collaboration of several dominant or submissive's theory on the matter? Or if he hates the why so much, why not exclude it all together? He does go on to share his own, as well as his partner Libby but it was just painful to read because of the hatred.Also other completely irrelevant shots at groups of people. When I first began reading the first one I came across I think in the second chapter was a weird passive aggressive shot at Republicans. I kinda snickered and moved on, until I realized that he was using this book as a platform to make bold statements like that, rather then just for a giggle.Overall, I just really don't like the intense feeling of hatred, bitterness, and insecurity. So much of it yells out to me that he needs to prove something rather than sharing his knowledge to better the scene and teach those less learned than himself. I purchased with the hopes of better understanding my Dom and accepting this voice as fact on the matter, but walk away feeling bitter myself. I'll come back and edit if I find a more pleasant alternative. I don't think anyone would argue with this man's credentials or that he was not educated on the topic, but his execution for the teaching misses the mark greatly in my opinion.Edit 4/19/23: The Topping and Bottoming books are infinitely better. They are straight to the point with relevant information and no hate. They are very accepting of EVERYONE.

*The Loving Dominant*, by John and Libby Warren, is one of those titles that inevitably come up in any discussion of BDSM nonfiction, and for good reason. John Warren is an experienced player with an engaging and highly personal writing style. His prose is colorful and easy to read, and he fills the pages with amusing, arousing, inspiring, and illustrative anecdotes from his own experience and that of his friends. Unlike many authors, Warren explores the psychological landscape and possibilities of BDSM as extensively as the physical skills and techniques; being myself far more drawn to the mental and emotional aspects of dominance and submission than to the pleasures of kinky sex per se, I was delighted to find a book with this particular emphasis. Although I am a submissive with no interest in switching, I appreciate the existence of a book like this addressed directly to dominants and their special needs and concerns. My husband/Master has sworn by this book for years, as have many of my dominant friends.I do have a few minor quibbles, however. Although I enjoyed the psychological emphasis in Warren's exploration of BDSM, I was rather disappointed that his focus was much more on the experience of play than the dynamics of a D/s relationship outside the bedroom or dungeon. I'd hoped a book with a title like *The Loving Dominant* would deal more with the kind of relationship that I'm in, a lifetime commitment in which our D/s dynamic enters (in theory at least) as much into the most mundane concerns of life as into our lovemaking. (Of course, since 24/7 relationships are relatively rare even in the world of BDSM, few potential readers may see this as a drawback.) I was also disappointed by the portion of the book written by Libby, supposedly exploring her own experiences and mindset as a submissive woman. I found very little in her words that I could relate to, which is fine - Libby and I are two separate people. I just hate to think that a dominant might read this and think that the motivations and desires of which she speaks are somehow essential to, or even typical of, the submissive mindset. I was particularly annoyed by the section in which John Warren explores the reasons a person might want to be submissive. I'm sure there are some submissives out there who are powerful people in their everyday life who enjoy letting go of responsibility for a little while, and I'm sure there are some who take pleasure in submission because it relieves them of feelings of guilt about enjoying their sexuality, but I don't fit into either of those groups and I'm tired of listening to people try to gloss over the complexity of my nature with pat explanations.On the whole, if you're willing to overlook a few weak passages (and some very poor editing), you'll find *The Loving Dominant* a worthy addition to your BDSM bookshelf.

I enjoyed this book. It was pretty lighthearted for the content material and I liked reading it.The physicality of the book was good and held up well. Worth the buy.

My new Dom and I are reading this book together. He self describes as a Daddy Dom, and was attracted by the title when I found it. Although he has experience he has no formal training and is always open to learning more. I am a "wannabe sub" according to Him since I have not yet begun my training, and I am reading as much as I can, which as my loving Dom he supports. We are both really enjoying John Warrens style of writing, which is clear,, frank, loving and funny. In particular for me, Libby's section on what being a submissive means to her brought tears to my eyes as it described my feelings so well even though I have not started my training. Libby please write a book for us subs! Along with the play suggestions and explanations, this book emphasizes so well the unique and deep D/s relationship dynamic. Even as new couple, I am experiencing one of the most profound relationships of my life. The D/s relationship allows nothing to be hidden. Highly recommend this book.

The author clearly has stumbled his way into kink, and has then written a book based on nothing more academically rigorous than his own activities. There’s an attempt to create the illusion of intellectual thought, but this consists of googling a few quotes, not actual scientific research. You’ll probably learn more with a simple hashtag search on social media and it will be cheaper. Save your money, buy anything else but this book. Hell, even 50 shades is more helpful!

Well recommended, with a surprising amount of detail throughout the content. Buy this book first and reach out further if your particular niche is not covered fully here.

It is a Nice read for those serious enough about BDSM to spend the time to read about it. The author has a lot of experience and that book will definetly help you in your journey.

Very informative if you are new to the lifestyle

thanks, great book!