Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends and Colleagues

Firstly I recommend anyone that intends to buy or read the book first listen to the episode of the ‘Feel Better, Live More’ podcast with the authors. The episode explores some of the key ideas covered in the book.The ‘stay on your side of the net’ and ‘three realities’ ideas are really simple, yet powerful. They are worth the price of the book alone.The case studies are a useful way of bringing the ideas to life although, like many books, I reckon it could’ve covered everything and been 1/3 shorter.

This is an excellent book written after decades of research and experience teaching interpersonal dynamics to Stanford students. Highly practical and experiential, it shows clearly how to approach six competencies in building exceptional relationships. Tackle 'pinches and crunches' and beware of going 'over the net', amongst other techniques. Just brilliant. Thank you, David and Carole. I will be recommending this to clients and colleagues.

'Connect' confounded my expectations that the content would focus on things like being as solicitous towards friends and family as possible. Actually, it focuses primarily on the points when relationships reach conflicts. How to identify and address a smaller conflict before it builds up to a more difficult one; how to manage those more difficult conflicts; and how to come away feeling stronger together after addressing a conflict in a relationship.What is particularly helpful about the book is its inclusion of fictional and real accounts of conversations between people that are characterised by conflict. This allowed a "deep dive" into the book's advice and removed any sense of abstractedness. The authors themselves were candid in sharing their own mistakes and learning moments over the years.I really hope I retain the important points raised in this book. I certainly learned new things, or at least, things I hadn't actively considered before. For example, whenever you're in a heated exchange, don't "go over the net" in ascribing intentions and beliefs to the other person; you can never know what's in their head. Stick to your own feelings, and how the person's behaviour has affected you, regardless of their intent.I plan to be more mindful of my choice of words and thinking patterns whenever I find myself in that kind of situation in future. However, I chose not to engage more fully with the book, which at the end of each chapter suggests reaching out to someone in your life who you'd like to deepen your connection with and discuss what you've learned. I'd rather my learning come out organically, and also, in a pandemic where I am cut off from my close friends and family, it can be harder to have those kinds of conversations online, and it's telling that the stories in the book all take place in person.That leads me onto my main negative point about the book - with the pandemic, it feels less relevant. The authors/publisher have had ample time to thread in something about how to negotiate and strengthen relationships during this stressful, constraining, and isolating time. But there's no mention of the pandemic at all. I get that they want to future-proof the book, but also, Covid-19 is going to change some things forever. At the very least, I would've loved to see a final additional chapter containing the authors' reflections on how to adapt their advice to living and loving in this bitter time.

I did not find this book suited my needs

Really enjoyed this book even though it took a while to read as there were activities at the end of each chapter to practice with your own close relationships. I particularly liked the real life experiences that were brought in as threads through the book and this brought the learning to life.The strategies for giving feedback, negotiating boundaries and working through disagreements were really useful and definitely made me think about .my own relationships and what I can do to improve them. A good book to read for anyone who wants to work through conflicts and improve their relationships with family, friends and colleagues

Thank you very much to Penguin Life for the ARC.Connect is a practical, easy-to-read book that opens up your thinking and why relationships matter and how to make them exceptional.It is a wonderful guide to how anyone can develop effective and rewarding interpersonal relationships. This book will make you feel and think differently - and for the better!Learning to connect across differences helps anyone develop skills that, as a leadership coach, I see in such short supply - gaining self-knowledge, building trust, giving and receiving feedback, and exercising influence.If you wish to make your relationships exceptional, this book is a must-read!

In a world when we've been particularly isolated with so many lockdowns and social distancing, I think this read has arrived at a really opportune moment. Packed with case scenarios to guide you through lots of different examples and reactions to help showcase different experiences that you yourself may experience in life.Plus an opportunity to start a new notebook as this gives the opportunity for note taking/journaling if you think you'd it beneficial.

Viewing your professional and personal relationships in a different way. It's not about being with the right person but learning to create the right relationship. Thought provoking and potentially life changing if you take the advice on board. It's never too late to change.