Defending Marriage: Twelve Arguments For Sanity Paperback – May 28, 2014

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth” (Genesis 1:27-28).“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him…” So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:18,21-25)This is the cultural mandate. God created man and woman, woman for man – “a helper fit for him” – they leave their parents, marry, and start a new family. Culture is not made of autonomous individuals, but families – men, women, and children. And through families culture is made. Throughout the history of the world all cultures believed this, understood this and supported this. However in the last half-century a new idea has been planted and taken root, the idea that men can marry men and women can marry women. Far from comical, this idea is now mainstream and soon to be heard by the highest court in the land. It’s with this on the horizon that Anthony Esolen, Professor of English at Providence College, raises his voice for sanity in this conversation.Esolen’s twelve arguments are:1. We Must Not Give the Sexual Revolution the Force of Irrevocable Law 2. We Must Not Enshrine the Law the Principle that Sexual Gratification is a Personal Matter Only, with Which the Society Has Nothing to do 3. We Should Not Deprive a Deeper Wedge between Men and Women 4. We Must Recover the Virtues of Modesty and Purity 5. We Should Not Foreclose the Opportunity for Members of the Same Sex to Forge Friendships with One Another that are Chaste, Deep, and Physically Expressed. 6. We Must Not Condone All Forms of Consensual Activity among Adults 7. We Must Not Seal Ourselves in a Regime of Divorce 8. We Should Not Normalize an Abnormal Behavior 9. To Celebrate an Abnormal Behavior Makes Things Worse, not Better, for Those Inclined to Engage in It 10. We Should not Subordinate the Welfare of Children to the Sexual Predilections of Adults 11. We Should not Give Godlike Powers to the State 12. The Beauty of the Country of MarriageThere’s far too much to engage with in this review so let me just add a couple of thoughts. Aside from the provocative title, this book is a source of commonsense and a well of knowledge. Anthony’s observations on families making cultures was eye opening, and something I’ve never considered in our western individualistic culture. We elevate the self over the community, the individual over the family. But that concept is deeply flawed and indeed part of the problem we face. Families have been replaced by the individuals, and we’ve given the State the power to define marriage. Never has a culture questioned who can be married. For it is commonsense, and all cultures know that men marry women. Whether that person is black, brown, green or yellow, if you’re a woman and he’s a man than you can marry.More than just a polemic argument against same-sex marriage, Mr. Esolen’s arguments are profoundly prophetic about what happens to the cultural that accepts the reality that a man can marry a man in the same sense that a man can marry a woman. You won’t find this book to be Bible-Thumping, but you may not appreciate his tone at times. I feel he could have been a bit more kind in tone to those who are practicing homosexuals, but I understand his urgency.In a time when the subject of same-sex marriage has become our sacred cow, Mr. Esolen’s book resolutely stands facing the wind. I would recommend this book for anyone looking to learn more about same-sex marriage, the ills that follow, not only to the person, but the culture that accepts this false-idea.

I don't suppose the people who need to read this book will read it. That's a pity, because Esolen undermines every foolish argument for the current muddled situation we're in regarding marriage, sex, gender, family and a host more. He has no qualms about offending anyone who's point of view is pro the kind of society we're living in.His twelve arguments, though swathing back and forth across some similar ground, are each cogently clear about what their main point is. Just when you feel as though he might be being rather old-fashioned in his point of view (and in his style of writing) he bangs in something that could only be said in the 21st century. He's well and truly up with the play, even though his language may sometimes seem that he's not.Though he obviously comes from a Catholic background, his arguments are for all Christians - and for all sane people. If ever you feel that we're in a deep mire in Western society, pick up this book. You won't necessarily be comforted, but you will be challenged, and within that challenge you'll see more clearly what is truth and what is lies.

The author shows how easy divorce, acceptance of heterosexual "free love," increasing licentiousness in the entertainment media, and acceptance of homosexual behaviors in the wider culture have all contributed to the demise of stable families. Since civilization is built upon stable families, this turning away from true marriage and "traditional" morality will continue to harm children and women and men. It will also continue to destabilize our communities and democracy in general. I no longer have TV coming into my home, but when I see it in others home, I am usually appalled at what has become permissible fare on regular programming. This book opened my eyes to how hard and how long Satan has been working to destroy the basic unit of society--the family--and doing a very good job. The author does give us some hope if we are willing to stand up for what is good and true. But, how many of us are willing to do that? How many of us have fallen for the lies about sexuality and gender permeating our culture?

Dr. Esolen writes of marriage what in the not-too-distant past would have been commonplace good sense (though in prose so lovely as to lift the heart and bring to tears); now it is a fierce, determined war-cry against the forces of darkness that have clouded the minds of our age, even "Christian" minds. Having read, dog-eared and annotated scores of the best books on this subject, in hopes that I might be able to love my neighbor by better articulating the positive reasons for rejecting the zeitgeist, I can now say I have found the most penetrating, thorough, inescapable and beautiful argument both for the scriptural family as the non-negotiable foundation for society and against every form of sexual "progress" that would necessarily undermine its foundations. Beautiful in its evocations of true family, childhood innocence and God-designed love, horrifying in its frank depiction of the darkness of sexual sinfulness, both heterosexual and homosexual. Thank you, Dr. Esolen.

From the prologue to the final chapter this book moved me deeply. Don't look for a dopey political tug-of-war with the leftists and the same tired arguments against modernisms. This book is a personal, philosophical, and common sense conversation about days gone by, and a culture gone awry. It paints a Dorian Gray-like portrait of how our culture sold out to twisted passions and fleeting earthly conveniences becoming a grotesque rendition of what it - and importantly what marriage - ought to be. It reminds us of the way we once looked - because of the way we once thought and the way we once loved and the truths we once saw. By the end Christian hope emerges as we are brought full circle like birth through the labor pains, back to the Land of Marriage, Children, God, and Home.

A book every human from teenage through adulthood should read.

Kaum ein Thema ist es mehr wert, verteidigt zu werden. Ich jammere nicht (mehr) darüber, ich stelle nur noch nüchtern fest: Die lebenslange Einehe zwischen einem Mann und einer Frau erscheint auf keinem Werbeplakat mehr, sie ist nicht einmal mehr zweit- oder drittbeste Option. So zumindest meint man, wenn man den hiesigen Medien, Fernsehprogrammen und Filmen folgt. Esolen hat nicht nur ein kurzes, sondern vor allem auch ein elegantes Buch geschrieben. Der Princeton-Absolvent Anthony Esolen ist Gelehrter für klassische Texte, Dante zum Beispiel. Was unternimmt er also? Als Katholik setzt er zu Beginn erst leise und fast unmerklich einen grundsätzlichen Marker. Er geht nämlich von einem dem Menschen vor- und übergeordneten moralischen Gesetz aus. Wer nach einer Begründung hierfür sucht, wird aber im Buch nicht fündig werden, sondern muss sich eher C. S. Lewis‘ „Die Abschaffung des Menschen“ anlesen.Esolen geht Argumenten entlang. Wie lauten sie?1. Die sexuelle Revolution ist kein unumkehrbares Gesetz.2. Die Sexualität ist keine private, sondern eine gesellschaftliche Angelegenheit.3. Wir dürfen keinen zu tiefen Graben zwischen Mann und Frau treiben. Sie passen als Einheit gerade in ihrer Unterschiedlichkeit zusammen.4. Wir müssen die Tugenden der Bescheidenheit und Reinheit wieder aufleben lassen.5. Ebenso gilt es gleichgeschlechtliche Freundschaften, gerade tiefe, emotionale Männerfreundschaften zu stärken und zu pflegen.6. Wir dürfen nie zu einer Konsensethik greifen. Es gibt eine einheitliche Ethik über alle Zeiten und alle Völker.7. Wir dürfen uns niemals dem offiziell geltenden Wenn-es-nicht-passt-dann-scheiden-wir-uns-halt-Regime unterwerfen.8. Wir dürfen abnormales Verhalten nie normal erklären.9. Abnormales Verhalten schädigt besonders die Schwächsten: Die Kinder.10. Wir dürfen das Wohlergehen der Erwachsenen nie über das der Kinder stellen.11. Wir dürfen keine der Familie zugeordnete Macht an den Staat abgeben.Dieses Buch verfügt über eine wunderbare inhaltliche Stärke. Der Autor nimmt am laufenden Band Beispiele vom Regal. Was bedeutet es mit zwei Müttern aufzuwachsen? Was passiert, wenn ein Mann nie echte männliche Freunde hat? Was sind die Schwierigkeiten mit der Samenbank und der Leihmutterschaft? Was bedeutet es wirklich abzutreiben? Durchs Band fördert der Autor zutage, dass alle diesen „neuen Lösungen“ sich problemlos anhören, in der Realität jedoch mit gewaltigen Störungen einhergehen.Nun noch zu einer zweiten Stärke. Das Leseerlebnis wird wesentlich durch das einführende und das ausklingende Kapitel verstärkt. Der Autor versteht es, zwei wunderbare poetische Beschreibungen zu entwerfen: Seinen Jugenderinnerungen als Kind italienischer Einwanderer und einer romantischen Beschreibung der Welt, in welcher die Ehe wieder aufblühen kann. Esolen sieht dies jederzeit in einer Familie, einem Clan, einem Haus oder einer Wohnsiedlung als Möglichkeit an. Das macht es so greifbar.Die einen Leser werden nun noch hinzufügen wollen, dass ich das wichtigste vergessen habe. Esolen greift ohne Unterbruch auf klassische Schriftsteller wie Dante, Shakespeare oder Milton zurück. Anhand von Ausschnitten zeigt er auf, mit welcher Selbstverständlichkeit damals die Ehe hochgehalten worden war. Das Reizende daran ist, dass es keine Ausschnitte aus einer wissenschaftlichen Publikation, sondern Dialoge, geformt in schöne Sätze sind.Eine einzige Schwäche wage ich als reformierter Theologe dennoch anzusprechen: Leider ist von Sünde nicht oft die Rede. Ebenso wenig berücksichtigt Esolen die Heilsgeschichte: Die Erschaffung am Anfang, den Sündenfall, den gegenwärtigen Zustand und die göttliche Verheissung der zukünftigen Wiederherstellung. Das hat natürlich eine Umkehrseite. Mit der literarischen und argumentativen Art der Darstellung kann der Autor mühelos an Universitäten ins Gespräch mit säkular geprägten Menschen kommen. Trotzdem dünkt es mich schade, dass das göttliche Gesetz der Bibel nicht öfter zur Sprache kommt. Wie wäre es mit einem romantischen Kapitel über das Hohelied der Liebe oder den rechtschaffenen Joseph, der Maria heimführte?

This is a most excellent book on the subject of the importance of traditional marriage and why it should be preserved. The author clarifies all of the reasons why and gives the arguments against todays liberal views on sexuality in unambiguous every day language. This should be required reading for all politicians, especially those that would choose to ignore millennia of human experience.

A brilliant defence of marriage between man and woman as the only true form of marriage. The author writes not only with impeccable logic, but with great emotion and wonderful imagery. A moving and inspirational book,