Hecto Pascal: Sensual Callgirl

[Hecto Pascal: Sensual Callgirl - (2009) - directed by Toru Kamei - fullscreen presentation - Japanese w/ English subtitles] Asian exploitation rarely lets me down, that's why I love it; a good deal of it borders on the insane and focuses on wildly deviant sexual behavior, but this clunker was the most torturously tame and insipid waste of 80 minutes I've experienced in ages. Everything about it is misleading, starting with the title - it's never concretely established if there even IS a Hecto Pascal, there's certainly no callgirl, it's definitely not sensual and, oh yeah, there's only one scene with ANY nudity at all. How can you market this as part of the 'Tokyo Erotique' series if there's no naughtiness or nudity? Gentlemen, I ask you in all sincerity, WTF? Before I go on, and for those of you with short attention spans, let's make one thing perfectly clear - you DO NOT want to suffer through this flick as I did, so you can cease reading now. It's devoid of any merit, immorality or indecency, rendering it without value of any kind, and my sainthood in the afterlife of cinematic degenerates is hereby guaranteed for having suffered so heinously so that you, my like-minded brethren, could go unpunished and spared from this tedium. My altar's being constructed as I write this...so is my pillory for being so foolish.For those of you still seeking torture, here are the details - A widow (Honoka) runs a funeral parlor in a poor fishing village, and is locally known as the "Mortician Vulture", and yes, she does indeed provide additional 'services' to the bereaved, but this we find out through dialogue and not depiction. She hires a partially deaf young man as part-time help, and takes an interest in him and his virginity. After a service one day, she instructs him to accompany her in the bathtub (I've seen larger fishbowls), but neither one gets undressed (?) - he's in a suit and tie, she's in a dress, shawl and pantyhose. So fully clothed we're to believe that this is somehow erotic. She washes his hair, then he hers, and I'm cringing in the social awkwardness of the severely dysfunctional characters. It's painful to watch.It's 56 minutes into this sleep aid before the first and only pair of breasts are exposed, and then only for a few seconds as the two have a go outdoors in the approaching typhoon. The pervading melancholy is mind numbing and the boredom relentless for an alleged 'erotic' film, though stating it as such is akin to calling Gov. Romney a liberal and Congress bipartisan. Every opportunity to show flesh (and there were many) was excised like foreskin at a bar mitzvah. Sure, there's a ton of talk about sex throughout the flick, but we see nothing. As a film, it fails all around too; no real plot or development, shallow characters, lousy direction and a weak soundtrack only serve to infuriate rather than entertain or invigorate.Do yourself a huge favor and pick up one of the excellent 'Tokyo Train Girl' flicks instead (read my reviews), or 'Captive Factory Girls' 1 or 2, even 'Girl in Captivity' from the same label (Cinema Epoch) for some enjoyable exploitation that won't disappoint - this one's unbearable. Amen.

rubbish

Slow moving and boring!!

Very slow. Boring.

Too slow - couldn't bear for more than 15min

i would have given it a 5 star but there's no ladies that work at a mortuary that look that attractive. 1 star reduction for non plausibility.

:-(

Weirdly sensual & erotic