Devotion: A Memoir Paperback – February 8, 2011

Emotional intelligence (thinking of Steve Hein here, but not quoting exactly) suggests that validating someone's emotions is showing acceptance of the person, and that acceptance demonstrates respect for their perception of things. The act of validation helps you feel heard, acknowledged, understood, and accepted. My interpretation is that validation, wherever you find it, makes you feel 'normal'. You feel as if you are part of humanity rather than on the periphery, like a D list guest at a party watching the hip people. There is a significant level of warm and hearty emotional validation for readers of this book. However I think it will be better received by those readers who, like me and like this author, are mid 40 something, have successful professional and personal lives by any reasonable measure, enjoy good health for the most part, and subsequently have the time and resources to pursue thinking about existential matters. In my case the list of things that I have in common with the author extends well into minutia, so many details that I stopped noting them half way through the book. A short list is that I too am originally from the northeast, I have one son, I have a well developed yoga practice, I've read widely from a variety of disciplines in the smorgasboard approach described here, I am not a Joiner, and I have precisely the same anxiety symptoms.Disclosure aside, I absolutely loved this book and I could not put it down. It validated me. It made me feel less crazy. The general silliness of privileged western women having extreme anxiety has been the basis for much amusement and even contempt in many books and movies. All of which is entirely understandable when viewed against the plight of women in developing countries, for example. Everyone is well aware that we are indeed quite fortunate compared to the majority of the world. And paradoxically, the realization creates even more anxiety, about who we are and should be, and what actions we should take and how. This book generously shares a path similar to that many of us have followed as we try to figure it all out. No questions are answered nor are any promised, as the author doesn't know the answers either. Rather we must continue to look for answers, and our quest is affirmed and enriched by the experiences of others on the same journey.I initially rated this book at 4 stars in spite of the fact that I loved it, as I was certain that it would be more suitable to a specific audience, i.e 40 something women. I've since received a very kind reminder from a fellow reader nearer age 70, that the journey continues until death. We will certainly get clarity on some things, we'll lose our attachment to others, however it goes we will most likely have more questions than answers at every point. I appreciate the perspective, and added a well deserved star.

I enjoyed this book. Being from an area of the country with very little Jewish culture, I felt like I learned quite a bit about the religion, culture and people. I also found her journey circling around faith very interesting and there were areas where I could relate, even though I was not raised with religion. It seems like her religious upbringing caused her some pain and left her with many large unanswered questions and internal struggles about life, faith and family that she may still struggle with. It makes me wonder why she would choose to pass that down to her son by enrolling him in Hebrew school. It has always fascinated me when people leave a faith with a struggle and then choose to raise their children in it, even if they don't practice it. Doesn't that just set them up for the same struggle or an even more confusing one? I'm sure there are reasons, but maybe by being raised in a secular household I will ever understand them. Interesting book, I recommend it.

In her memoir Devotion, Dani Shapiro describes entering what Jung called the "afternoon of life," a time to seek answers and meaning. When her son asks her "What is sin?" Dani begins a journey to "do better," to answer her son's, and her own, spiritual questions with examined knowledge.Shapiro's life is ridden with anxiety. The losses in her life have hit unexpectedly, in unpredictable ways, stripping her of the comfort of denial and creating a keen awareness of what might happen at any moment. A constant hyper alert stance and a wound-up nature both exhausts her and robs her of sleep. There are few times when she's not anticipating crisis.A Japanese filmmaker once said artists must be willing to look at the white-hot center of themselves and not turn away. Shapiro doesn't turn away. She faces what she fears, including resolving her relationship with her ultra critical mother and her infant son's unusual life threatening illness, and with courage finds her own answers, put together in her own way. Her teachers include a rabbi, a Buddhist and a yogi.Shapiro's path to finding her spiritual beliefs, may not answer your questions, and probably shouldn't, but the combination of beliefs she examines make perfect sense for her, mirroring her life and her heritage from the generations before her.Shapiro writes with what appears to be raw honesty, allowing readers to share her most intimate thoughts and by example inspiring similar growth in others. Review published in Internet Review of Books.

I recently purchased Dani Shapiro's life-changing book to read on my Kindle when I went on vacation. From the very first sentence, I was hooked. I can't say what it was that drew me in. I certainly have never considered myself to be "spiritual", and the only other book along those lines that I enjoyed was "Eat, Pray, Love". But, Dani's book was something else. I could not put this book down for a minute, except to slip into the pool to cool off from the warm Mexican heat.Whether it was about her childhood, her son's illness, or her search to reconnect with her Judiasm, this was one of the most moving and compelling stories I have ever read. It has encouraged me to go deeper into my own background (although I was raised a reform Jew, not Orthodox), and my own beliefs. It has made me want to become a better person, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I hope I will be as lucky to find such wonderful mentors along my path as Dani found.As an aside, when I returned home from my vacation, I ran to purchase the hardcover edition of this wonderful memoir, so that I could have it on my night table, and re-read passages, sentences that moved me.Thank you to Dani Shapiro. I am a fan forever.