Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family

I absolutely could not put this book down. The first day I was to page 60 in no time. I love the stories and examples included withing the material. Would definitely recommend.

I enjoyed the real-life stories in the book. It is nice to hear what other families are going through; although I wouldn't wish some of this mess on an enemy, it is nice to know you aren't alone.What I didn't like is that is seemed to have a "learn to just live with it" attitude. No, I don't think that children coming in and throwing their stuff all over the foor is "their way of making their mark on the house", I think it is disrespectful to do in anyone's home. If my step-children want to make a mark on our home, they can pick out pictures to hang on the walls or even draw pictures - I don't see how having to step over their stuff adds their mark. I surely don't see myself just learning to over-look such acts of disrespect for the rest of my married life.I enjoyed the reassurance that feelings are normal - such as not immediatly falling in love with someone else's chidlren, but I also think that if you are a rational adult, you already know you can't love anyone's kids the way you love your own.Most of the arguments described in this book could have been avoided had the step-couple discussed them BEFORE getting married. This book describes a world where you were so much in love that you ran into marriage (which not many divorced people do) and when the "love bubble" affect wears off you are stuck with disputes about money and disciplining chidlren rather than buiding a life together; simply unrealistic to me.It also seems to encourage building seperate families within a family - I often feel like I expect more from my children than my step-children simply because my kids are here more; however, I think striving to make every child feel as if they are in the family, not just as temporary guests, is important. I cannot change the way my step-children are being raised by their mother, but I can certainly expect each member of my family to follow the same rules in my house.I was with my now husband for 3 years before we got married. Having kids already is very much an issue when deciding to join two families but we worked most of this stuff out before we combined our lives. We discussed our opinions about money and rules for the kids - we didn't just follow the bright love light, that is a luxery you cannot afford when you have been divorced and you already have children.I hoped this book would offer insight into the adult aspect of step-coupling but instead it offered a whole lot about catering to the children and letting our own desires for our family lie-in-wait until our kids get onboard. If we did that, our home and our family would never have worked itself out. A united front and being on the same page is essential.I wouldn't reccomend this book to a step-couple who is already together; maybe a new couple could benefit more from it. I also don't think it grasps the situation as a whole - it doesn't touch on the stresses of ex's and the drama that comes from that, which in my home is more of a threat than our kids!

I recently previewed a series of books as a potential texts to use with step families in crisis. The least informative of these books was "Happily Remarried" by David and Lisa Frisbie. Although the book was inherently readable and certainly got a few good points across--it was completely inadequate to deal with the complexities many step families face.If your step family is dealing with serious issues I recommend "Smart Step Family" by Ron Deal or "Step Coupling" by Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green. You will find either of these books to be far more comprehensive and useful, although each one has its own strengths. The "Smart Step Family" is a book written from a strong Christian perspective and as such provides significant spiritual and biblical background for people of faith. "Step Coupling" approaches the step family more from a secular counseling context and therefore does not delve much into the moral or ethical aspects of the various issues facing step families. Indeed, when discussing a foundational issue like honesty or dishonesty, the "Step Coupling" book explicitly states that neither value is right or wrong. This was almost a deal-breaker for me. I suspect that even most non-religious people would struggle with the idea that all behavior is value neutral. Nevertheless, the book largely arrives at the same conclusions as its Christian counterpart--albeit from a different perspective.All in all, I think that any step family going through internal or external struggles would be well served to read both books. Both bring unique and significant insights into the challenges that step families face. The "Step Coupling" book is somewhat more earthy and easy to read, being filled with concrete examples from actual step families. The "Smart Step Family" book feels a little more detached, but still does a very good job of communicating the key issues that step families need to address, while acknowledging the spiritual needs of those involved and how to address them. In this sense, it is perhaps the deeper of the two. Either book will do a good job in helping the step family better understand itself and move toward a more fulfilling future together.

I don't typically write reviews, however this book just in 20 pages has been a huge relief. My husband and I have only been married 6 months and it seems like everything we thought it was going to be feel very short of our expectations. Reading that its normal, that it takes anywhere from 2 to 7 years for a family to feel safe and get along as much as possible made me cry with relief. My expectations for my new family was super high and when everything crashed about three months ago I was scared I made the wrong choices. After reading more in the book and talking with my husband, were able to see where we are doing things that are good and we need to be more patient in other areas. I recommend this book to anyone who is thinking about remarrying or is remarried and needs some advise or assistance. Its my first self help book and I am looking for more on helping my family cope with the new situation.

I don’t have kids, but I have 2 step kids, who live mostly with their mother. This book focuses mainly on blended families, 2 sets of step kids living with each other. Because of this, many of the stories and advice didn’t relate to my situation, but I still got some helpful information. Also, who’s to say the situation won’t change where we have the kids more often? It’s a quick and easy read; I read it in an afternoon. Giving it to my husband to read next.

this book is alright if you are struggling with stepkids and their mother/father. Not an easy thing to do and it can get quite difficult sometimes. If you chose this difficult path the book might help you be a bit more practical and forget your feelings about every little thing they do. The only thing that matters is how you feel about your partner! The rest will be as easy or as difficult as you let it be. The more you ignore things that bother you, the less important they will be.

The book arrived eventually but it was covered in something nasty and sticky. Not pleasant i had to put it in thd bin unfortunately

Great book! Wish i got it years ago

This book is excellent! Brought to light a lot of the things we were feeling but didn't understand were normal. Helped a lot!

It was an easy read and provided a lot of great insights and practical tips. It made me feel like I wasn't crazy.