Men ask for what they want twice as often as women do and
initiate negotiation four times more, report economist Linda
Babcock and writer Sara Laschever in the footnoted but engaging
Women Don't Ask. With vivid research examples drawn from cradle,
classroom and playground, the authors detail culture as the
culprit in discouraging women from negotiating on their own
behalf.
Men, socialized in a "scrappier paradigm," learn to pursue and
energize their goals at work and home. The two key elements are
control and recognizing opportunity. For example, girls, rewarded
for hard work, learn to see control as outside of themselves
while boys are urged to take charge. Boys are schooled to
recognize opportunity and girls to choose safe targets.
Several chapters are focused on prescription; how women can
decrease anxiety, anticipate roadblocks, plan counter-moves and
resist conceding too much or too soon. The authors shine in their
examination of culture and gender--and their optimism about how
women can counter the culture. They falter whenever they adopt
the "sexes-from-a-different-planet" fallacy. Most notably, in a
chapter that details a "female approach" to negotiating. Overall,
the authors have created a smart summary of research and used it
to affirm every woman's urgent right to ask. --Barbara Mackoff
